FOOD SAFETY - MICROBIAL
Don't Get Sicky Wit It
Don't Be a Gambler
Food Irradiation
I Will Survive
Keep it Cool
Mantenga Bien la Comida
Stomachache Tonight
We are the Microbes
You Better Wash Your Hands

FOOD SAFETY - GENERAL
A Case of Norwalk
Fifty Ways to Eat Your Oysters
Stayin' Alive
U.S.D.A.
Who Left the Food Out

HEALTH & NUTRITION
Eat it
Jump
Veggie Believer

MAD COW DISEASE
Beware La Vaca Loca

PESTICIDES
Bring Back Delaney
I Sprayed it on the Grapevine
Political Hay

OLESTRA
Feelin' All Right

BIOTECH
Clonin' DNA
Frank N. Foode
Still Seems Like Food to Me

TOXICOLOGY
Rat Number 49

ACADEMIC LIFE
Money for Nothing

Fifty Ways to Eat Your Oysters
In the style of Paul Simon's "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"


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The problem is all inside the shell, says CDC
This Vibrio vulnificus can cause mortality
I'd like to help you eat your seafood safely
There must be fifty ways to eat your oysters

Now if you're healthy you can still enjoy them raw
Just serve 'em on the half shell, you're not breaking any law
But if the raw ones make you nervous here's some advice you can recall
There must be fifty ways to eat your oysters
Fifty ways to eat your oysters

Just heat 'em on the grill, Phil
Fry 'em in a pan, Stan
No need to avoid, Floyd
Just listen to me
Steam 'em in a pot, Scott
You don't need to prepare much
Just broil 'em for three, Lee
And eat them safely.

Heat 'em on the grill, Phil
Fry 'em in a pan, Stan
No need to avoid, Floyd
Just listen to me
Steam 'em in a pot, Scott
You don't need to prepare much
Just broil 'em for three, Lee
And eat them safely.

Knowing if you're at risk is certainly the key
Avoid raw oysters if you've got immune deficiency
Or liver problems, diabetes, some other chronic malady
There still are fifty ways to eat your oysters

Another option is to buy them pressurized
Or find some oysters that have been flash pasteurized
Many treatments can be used to cause bacterial demise
Some of the fifty ways to eat your oysters
Fifty ways to eat your oysters

Just heat 'em on the grill, Phil
Fry 'em in a pan, Stan
No need to avoid, Floyd
Just listen to me
Steam 'em in a pot, Scott
You don't need to prepare much
Just broil 'em for three, Lee
And eat them safely.

Heat 'em on the grill, Phil
Fry 'em in a pan, Stan
No need to avoid, Floyd
Just listen to me
Steam 'em in a pot, Scott
You don't need to prepare much
Just broil 'em for three, Lee
And eat them safely.