Stayin' Alive
In the style of The Bee Gees's "Stayin' Alive"

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Well you can tell by the way I choose my food
I’m a worried guy, in a cautious mood
Food safety scares, they’re everywhere
And they’re telling me I should beware
There’s pesticides, Mad Cow Disease
Sure don’t put my mind at ease
Biotech, and MSG
Messin’ with my sanity

Don’t want hepatitis or that gastroenteritis
I’m just stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Scrubbin’ off my veggies and I’m heatin’ all my burgers
Up to one-eighty-five, one-eighty-five
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive

Now when I was young I wouldn’t hesitate
To chow right down, clean off my plate
With oysters raw and burgers rare
I enjoyed my food without a care
But now I hear, it’s not OK
I might not live another day
Believin’ Oprah, Meryl Streep
Soon I might be six feet deep

Don’t want hepatitis or that gastroenteritis
I’m just stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Scrubbin’ off my veggies and I’m heatin’ all my burgers
Up to one-eighty-five, one-eighty-five
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive

I’m scared senseless. Somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
I’m scared senseless. Somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah, stayin’ alive

Well you can tell by the way I choose my food
I’m a worried guy, in a cautious mood
Food safety scares, they’re everywhere
And they’re telling me I should beware
There’s pesticides, Mad Cow Disease
Sure don’t put my mind at ease
Biotech, and MSG
Messin’ with my sanity

Don’t want hepatitis or that gastroenteritis
I’m just stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Scrubbin’ off my veggies and I’m heatin’ all my burgers
Up to one-eighty-five, one-eighty-five
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive

I’m scared senseless. Somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
I’m scared senseless. Somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah, stayin’ alive